B-Celebrity

My birthname is Chad Nelson, before I moved to Cali, and legally got it changed. I acquired a nickname from my standup comedy. My fellows call me B, but ravenous fans chant B-Celebrity. I capitalized off a viral moment, when my punchline was about my own realization — I’m forever a B-Celebrity. When you capture the internets attention, you milk it until the hype cow dies. Then you take the carcass, tan and leather that thing.

I hit every V at my high school. My penis is magical, it causes whispers amongst women and men. It just is what it is. I was a star athlete, quarterback, etc., but got to D-1 through…