My Interview With Elon Musk

In one-on-one interview, Elon Musk says he’s “mentally retarded.”

How did you get to interview Elon Musk? My uncle is the billionaire patron of the far right. Since the youth recognize leftism as correct, my uncle insures enough of the real rejects hear the truth, as he calls it. I’m more of a nihilist, so I use my unique situation — second gen wealth — to get master’s degrees in all the humanities, write, smoke pot, and meet and learn from the movers and shakers. Art shows, yeah, but also interviews. Interviews unbeknownst to these characters. I sat down with Elon in his Think Sphere.

As I entered the thirty-six-foot glass sphere, he asked me if the Pufferfish had been up to my standard, that my uncle and he had had the Pufferfish flown in from the Phasm Gulch in the South Atlantic.

“The fish was great,” I lie. I avoided the Pufferfish.

Unwarned, he goes into a childhood story of having saved a man’s life — after being impaled by a swordfish, he, Elon, put a Pufferfish into the man’s open wound and stimulated the fish’s sperm sack to maintain inflation until emergency aid could arrive. The local sailors nicknamed Elon Pufferfish. That on Thanksgiving, puffer fish is consumed after prayerful meditation.

I tell him the food was fine.